There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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