I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
