Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Found the puke drawer
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
