maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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