You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
