508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize