I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize