does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
