Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
