Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
