no, he came in my armpit
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
