I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize