if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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