You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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