Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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