I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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