the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
