I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
