i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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