i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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