those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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