I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
