There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
