Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
