I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
