I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
