it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
