Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
