I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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