i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
