I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
