hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
