he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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