Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
as a side note pls kill me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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