Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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