How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
