What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
