I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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