I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Too much gin, very little bucket
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
