It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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