no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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