I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
