i permit you to call me
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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