are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
