If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
