Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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