bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
