Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
