Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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