He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
