So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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