Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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