just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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