weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
