***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
