she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
