the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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