I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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